Friday, July 08, 2005
7/08
This is Dad. Peanut isn't a peanut anymore, at least as of 1:15 pm cdt today. At that point in time Peanut became Zachary. He checked into the world via c-section, weighing 9 pounds exactly and 21 inches in length. Compared to most of the babies we saw, he seemed fully developed and possibably looking for the car keys. Both he and mom are doing fine. Zach did develop a problem related to rapid breathing, and will be kept in the NICU (Neonatal Intensive Care Unit) to completely make sure everything is OK. The doctor is not worried, just being careful. The down side is Mom hasn't had a chance to hold him yet. That will change in the morning. She can't wait. Hopefully we will be there to enjoy the moment.
Monday, July 04, 2005
Sunday, July 03, 2005
7/03
THREE MORE DAYS!
I can't write for long because the numbness in my fingers and wrists is really bothering me today, but I wanted to update and let everyone know that the doctor has set a date for my progeny to come into the world. I will go into the hospital in the evening on Wednesday, July 6th for a ripening procedure (....will they leave me out on the counter overnight....maybe put me next to some bananas.....rub me with coco butter and throw me outside until I'm "done".......) Alas, the procedure isn't nearly as fun as any of those things. I'll get a softening medication rubbed directly on my cervix and then wait twelve hours for the magic to happen. Let me just say that cervixes don't really liked to be touched. They are up high for a reason.
Then on Thursday, July 7th, provided everything has gone well up to that point, the doc will administer pitocin through my IV at 7am. Then the fun really starts. Anyone who has any vague knowledge of pitocin tells me that it is one knock-down-drag-out-kick-you-while-you're-down drug that doesn't take any prisoners. Contractions? Here I come.
Only three more days until the human that I've carried for nine months comes out and becomes his own person.....I'm scared shitless.
I can't write for long because the numbness in my fingers and wrists is really bothering me today, but I wanted to update and let everyone know that the doctor has set a date for my progeny to come into the world. I will go into the hospital in the evening on Wednesday, July 6th for a ripening procedure (....will they leave me out on the counter overnight....maybe put me next to some bananas.....rub me with coco butter and throw me outside until I'm "done".......) Alas, the procedure isn't nearly as fun as any of those things. I'll get a softening medication rubbed directly on my cervix and then wait twelve hours for the magic to happen. Let me just say that cervixes don't really liked to be touched. They are up high for a reason.
Then on Thursday, July 7th, provided everything has gone well up to that point, the doc will administer pitocin through my IV at 7am. Then the fun really starts. Anyone who has any vague knowledge of pitocin tells me that it is one knock-down-drag-out-kick-you-while-you're-down drug that doesn't take any prisoners. Contractions? Here I come.
Only three more days until the human that I've carried for nine months comes out and becomes his own person.....I'm scared shitless.
Thursday, June 30, 2005
6/30
Well, one of my daily reads just had his beautiful babies. Jay and Jazz had twins, one boy and one girl. Benjamin (5 pounds and change) and Olivia (4 pounds and change) were born vaginally on June 29th and both babies and Mom is reportedly doing well.
After looking at the amazing picture of the two munchkins, I couldn't help but adding the two birth weights together and thinking that my giant baby might outweigh these two babies combined. Ha! Beat that. Maybe there is a bumper sticker somewhere that says, "My baby can kick your baby's ass" I would put that on my car. Definately.
However, I don't want to make national news just for giving birth. The "Big Enchilada" baby born in Wisconsin is giving large babies a bad name. The woman was 47 cm from pubic bone to sternum when she gave birth to her 13 pound, 11 ounce baby. Just for reference, I found out today at my OB-GYN appointment that I'm 42 cms and still growing. The doc and I decided that she would induce labor sometime next week for the health of everyone involved. Unfortunately, my cervix is still closed and the baby hasn't dropped further into my pelvis. With this set of conditions, it is highly likely that after laboring for 24-48 hours, I might end up in the operating room with a C-section. At least I get a fighting chance to have Peanut vaginally.
I also found out that the numbness and tingling in my arms and hands is a form of pregnancy-induced carpal tunnel syndrome. Basically, my entire body has swollen to capacity and now the pressure of the baby is starting to cut off nerve endings in my upper torso. If that isn't a good enough reason to use two kinds of birth control before every sexual act, you might be insane.
Maybe I'll start going into low-income high schools and community colleges with a "Scared Straight" message. Instead of scaring kids off crime, I'll scare them out of having unprotected sex. I'll show them every stretch mark on my body and my swollen, purple feet. I'll tell them about how the FOB won't return my phone calls anymore and how I'm thinking about pushing to terminate his parental rights. I'll waddle into the gymnasium and sit with huge belly and tell them that I used to be able to sleep on my stomach or even my back if I felt like it. Life was carefree and included beer. BEER, I tell you!! But then I won't show them my beautiful little miracle, because he's just going to be too darn cute to scare anyone out of parenting.
After looking at the amazing picture of the two munchkins, I couldn't help but adding the two birth weights together and thinking that my giant baby might outweigh these two babies combined. Ha! Beat that. Maybe there is a bumper sticker somewhere that says, "My baby can kick your baby's ass" I would put that on my car. Definately.
However, I don't want to make national news just for giving birth. The "Big Enchilada" baby born in Wisconsin is giving large babies a bad name. The woman was 47 cm from pubic bone to sternum when she gave birth to her 13 pound, 11 ounce baby. Just for reference, I found out today at my OB-GYN appointment that I'm 42 cms and still growing. The doc and I decided that she would induce labor sometime next week for the health of everyone involved. Unfortunately, my cervix is still closed and the baby hasn't dropped further into my pelvis. With this set of conditions, it is highly likely that after laboring for 24-48 hours, I might end up in the operating room with a C-section. At least I get a fighting chance to have Peanut vaginally.
I also found out that the numbness and tingling in my arms and hands is a form of pregnancy-induced carpal tunnel syndrome. Basically, my entire body has swollen to capacity and now the pressure of the baby is starting to cut off nerve endings in my upper torso. If that isn't a good enough reason to use two kinds of birth control before every sexual act, you might be insane.
Maybe I'll start going into low-income high schools and community colleges with a "Scared Straight" message. Instead of scaring kids off crime, I'll scare them out of having unprotected sex. I'll show them every stretch mark on my body and my swollen, purple feet. I'll tell them about how the FOB won't return my phone calls anymore and how I'm thinking about pushing to terminate his parental rights. I'll waddle into the gymnasium and sit with huge belly and tell them that I used to be able to sleep on my stomach or even my back if I felt like it. Life was carefree and included beer. BEER, I tell you!! But then I won't show them my beautiful little miracle, because he's just going to be too darn cute to scare anyone out of parenting.
Tuesday, June 28, 2005
6/28
Dear Peanut,
Life here on the outside world is great! We like it so much and I really think that you would like it a lot more out here. Out here there is me, Grandpa and Grandma, Aunt Jen, and a whole host of friends that are waiting to see your beautiful face. In fact, all of those people have taken to checking in with your Mommy periodically to see if you are still inside me (you are).
Mommy has also been doing some research on circumcision. People get very, very upset when you start talking about this subject, but I have to make the best decision for you that I can. I figure that at the very least, I should read more about it for your sake. Basically, baby, in some parts of the US circumcision rates are still around 80%. That means that if you were in the locker room with 10 boys, only 2 of them would have "turtleneck". Mommy appreciates the irony in that statement because she just saw your "turtle" in the last ultrasound (hee, hee).
Now, I know that you aren't thinking about this right now, and hopefully you won't until your 18 or so, but almost every straight woman that I've talked to likes the way that a circumcised penis looks. My research on the preferences of gay men is lacking, and I'm sorry about that. If you are ostracize in the gay community because of your penis, let me know. I'll start protesting at every pride parade and in every gay magazine that I can get my hands on. Or if some European or Canadian girl decides not to be with you because you don't have a foreskin, you just remind her that American girls like you just the way you are. And then give me the bitch's phone number....
So, you aren't going to remember what having a foreskin was like or even that someone removed it, but I'm going to promise you that I will be by your side and force them to give you enough anesthesia. When you are old enough to have kids, we'll talk about this again and I'll support whatever decision you make then. Medically or socially, the practice and attitudes towards circumcision might be different when you're ready to have kids. As for now, the scientific evidence is a little shaky, but your little turtle is going to be easier to clean and have less urinary tract infections.
Please come out soon. I love you,
Mommy
Life here on the outside world is great! We like it so much and I really think that you would like it a lot more out here. Out here there is me, Grandpa and Grandma, Aunt Jen, and a whole host of friends that are waiting to see your beautiful face. In fact, all of those people have taken to checking in with your Mommy periodically to see if you are still inside me (you are).
Mommy has also been doing some research on circumcision. People get very, very upset when you start talking about this subject, but I have to make the best decision for you that I can. I figure that at the very least, I should read more about it for your sake. Basically, baby, in some parts of the US circumcision rates are still around 80%. That means that if you were in the locker room with 10 boys, only 2 of them would have "turtleneck". Mommy appreciates the irony in that statement because she just saw your "turtle" in the last ultrasound (hee, hee).
Now, I know that you aren't thinking about this right now, and hopefully you won't until your 18 or so, but almost every straight woman that I've talked to likes the way that a circumcised penis looks. My research on the preferences of gay men is lacking, and I'm sorry about that. If you are ostracize in the gay community because of your penis, let me know. I'll start protesting at every pride parade and in every gay magazine that I can get my hands on. Or if some European or Canadian girl decides not to be with you because you don't have a foreskin, you just remind her that American girls like you just the way you are. And then give me the bitch's phone number....
So, you aren't going to remember what having a foreskin was like or even that someone removed it, but I'm going to promise you that I will be by your side and force them to give you enough anesthesia. When you are old enough to have kids, we'll talk about this again and I'll support whatever decision you make then. Medically or socially, the practice and attitudes towards circumcision might be different when you're ready to have kids. As for now, the scientific evidence is a little shaky, but your little turtle is going to be easier to clean and have less urinary tract infections.
Please come out soon. I love you,
Mommy
Sunday, June 26, 2005
6/26
So, one of my favorite bloggers, SJ, is pregnant again with her second child. She thinks that it's going to be a boy and one of the funniest comments that she wrote was,
"The thought of a boy scares me. Sure, there’s the whole fact that everyone is going to try and make him a Tonka Truck carrying, Monster Truck watching, Card Carrying Hick. What I’m really worried about, however, is the weiner.
First off, I can’t imagine growing something with nuts and a wang in there. Second, these nuts and wang will emerge and someone is going to expect me to clean them. "
After I finished laughing, I realized that I haven't written very much recently about having a boy. When I found out at 20 weeks that Peanut was a boy, I wrote this entry, but then the issue of what biological sex my child would be kind of faded in my mind. HOWEVER, every time I go to get another ultrasound (I've had six during this tumultuous pregnancy because of injury and the little one deciding that he wanted to sit butt down on mommy's small intenstine for 26 weeks), the technicians go a little crazy pointing out his "boy parts". I've heard his penis referred to everything from a "turtle" to a "weiner" to a "winky". I even have one entire photograph of his scrotum with the word, "scrotum" typed on the picture, just in case you couldn't figure out how the Nerf golf balls ended up in my uterus. It seems that medical technicians are obsessed with my baby's growing genitalia.
I have to admit, that I'm not worried about a baby penis, being sprayed in the face with urine can only be SO bad....I'm worried about the toddler penis that he wants to play with and show everyone that comes into the house....about the pre-teen penis that decides it wants to start displaying its eruptive power in the middle of the night....about the teenage penis that takes over his brain until the age of thirty.....and morning wood. How am I going to be able to look at Peanut in the morning and ask if he wants Cheerios or Honey Nut Bran while he's pitching a tent in his boxer shorts? Do I make him wait to come into the kitchen until everything is back to normal? Do I pretend that (God help me) it's normal and that I'm a cool, hippie Mom that embraces sexuality and nudity in a five year-old?
OK, do you see my dilemma? I want to be supportive of his "boy parts", but I have this huge Puritan streak in me that kind of freaks out when I'm around penises. It's like God is forcing me to deal with my male gender and sexuality issues. This might be punishment for some of the things I said about men in my late teenage years. God knows....and apparently he remembers.
"The thought of a boy scares me. Sure, there’s the whole fact that everyone is going to try and make him a Tonka Truck carrying, Monster Truck watching, Card Carrying Hick. What I’m really worried about, however, is the weiner.
First off, I can’t imagine growing something with nuts and a wang in there. Second, these nuts and wang will emerge and someone is going to expect me to clean them. "
After I finished laughing, I realized that I haven't written very much recently about having a boy. When I found out at 20 weeks that Peanut was a boy, I wrote this entry, but then the issue of what biological sex my child would be kind of faded in my mind. HOWEVER, every time I go to get another ultrasound (I've had six during this tumultuous pregnancy because of injury and the little one deciding that he wanted to sit butt down on mommy's small intenstine for 26 weeks), the technicians go a little crazy pointing out his "boy parts". I've heard his penis referred to everything from a "turtle" to a "weiner" to a "winky". I even have one entire photograph of his scrotum with the word, "scrotum" typed on the picture, just in case you couldn't figure out how the Nerf golf balls ended up in my uterus. It seems that medical technicians are obsessed with my baby's growing genitalia.
I have to admit, that I'm not worried about a baby penis, being sprayed in the face with urine can only be SO bad....I'm worried about the toddler penis that he wants to play with and show everyone that comes into the house....about the pre-teen penis that decides it wants to start displaying its eruptive power in the middle of the night....about the teenage penis that takes over his brain until the age of thirty.....and morning wood. How am I going to be able to look at Peanut in the morning and ask if he wants Cheerios or Honey Nut Bran while he's pitching a tent in his boxer shorts? Do I make him wait to come into the kitchen until everything is back to normal? Do I pretend that (God help me) it's normal and that I'm a cool, hippie Mom that embraces sexuality and nudity in a five year-old?
OK, do you see my dilemma? I want to be supportive of his "boy parts", but I have this huge Puritan streak in me that kind of freaks out when I'm around penises. It's like God is forcing me to deal with my male gender and sexuality issues. This might be punishment for some of the things I said about men in my late teenage years. God knows....and apparently he remembers.
Wednesday, June 22, 2005
6/25
Brings new meaning to the term "full frontal", no? My favorite part is that my linea nigra, the line that goes from my pubic bone to my sternum, isn't perfectly straight. Half of my belly button is also poking out, which gives me this great, asymmetrical look. In my own "stretch mark" defense, I think the lines on my belly are veins, most of my stretch marks are on the side of my body.
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