Sunday, January 07, 2007

1/07

Ok, I've "officially" been on Jenny Craig now for a week. Here is the honest truth: I'm starving. The 1500 calorie diet is incredibly hard. I find myself to thinking about food all the time and I've succumbed to late-night binging twice this week.

Somtimes I'm just so hungry. When I weighed in on Saturday, I had lost six pounds. My counselor told me that the first week was the "dramatic weight lost" week. I would like to officially rename that week as, "WTF" week. Every day, that is what I kept thinking. Really, "WTF? Is that all the food I get? Is there another course somewhere that I'm missing?" Lunch has been the hardest, going back to my desk still hungry. I've gotten a little panicky, looking around for more food, wondering how I was going to ever make it through the afternoon knowing that an orange and non-fat yogurt for an afternoon snack might meet an ugly end when they are thrown against the wall of my office in frustration. Of course, though, I wouldn't do that because then I would probably roll my eyes, let out a long sigh, and then walk over to the wall to lick it off.

Every Jenny Craig meal is between 190-300 calories, supplemented by fruit, vegetables, and dairy products to average out to 300 calories, five times a day. Go ahead and try to feel full off that amount of food. It's difficult. It can be done, but it's difficult.

The pattern of using food for comfort and protection against my insecurities has intensified by the lack of caloric intake. I've found myself not necessarily hungry, just craving that full feeling, the feeling that everything is alright within my body and within the world. I'm so used to eating when I'm bored or just eating to feel better that I have no idea what my body actually needs. Hunger sets off the, "Good Lord, what I am doing?" feelings that I want to immediately quash with food, preferrably with something salty and a little savory.

Is losing weight really this important to me? I feel like I'm in some kind of shock therapy treatment. After awhile, maybe the ice baths won't hurt so much and I can focus on the bigger picture of achieving a healthy, more active lifestyle. At this very moment, I would take fat and happy over skinny and neurotic.

13 comments:

Anonymous said...

have you found any exercise that appeals to you yet?

carolyn in austin

Dee said...

The first two weeks are always the hardest. If you can just hang in there and get past that, it will get better. That's great that you lost 6 pounds already! I know it sucks to be hungry, but I also know that when you lose the weight you will feel so much better. Hang in there. You can do it!

CruiserMel said...

LOL @ licking the orange and yogurt off the wall.

Of course dieting is no fun (and that's why I'm not dieting, btw), but it appears you still have your sense of humor.

Keep it up - you're going to get used to not having that "full" feeling.

In the meantime, ask your couselor if you can save one part of your lunch to add onto the afternoon snack, etc. Sorta like grazing all day, ya know? I did that sometimes when I was on NutriSystem. Or add in carrot sticks - they're pretty much a zero calorie snack.

ipj said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
ipj said...

I know I'm not the best person to give advice on eating habits but...try always having a large container of water on hand. Drinking lots of water is not only good for you (especially in Texas, I imagine) but really helps curb that "I'm not hungry but need to fill my stomach" feeling.

formertxmama said...

Hang in there! I totally concur that the first two weeks are the hardest--your body will adjust to that not-full feeling and you won't feel so shaky any more. Keep up the good work!

Melanie Marie said...

Hang in there. It is hard but pretty soon the panicky feeling will pass. I'm an emotional eater too. It sounds stupid but I just have to tell myself over and over that hunger is just a sensation and that I won't die from hunger. My body has lied to me all these years, telling me that the food will make me happy/satisfied but it has just covered up the unhappiness. Fight it, you can do it. It does get easier!

karrie said...

I drink gallons of unsweetened tea when trying to reduce. If you can get used to it without sugar, it helps.

You should take pictures of the JG meals and post them! :)

Caroline said...

I hate the first week of a new diet. Hang in there because it will get better. Find snacks that are good for you: carrots, grapes. The lady at Weight Watchers told me that if I had no points left and decided to eat fruit then that was ok. She said and I still remember this: "if wasn't the fruits and veggies that got you here".

jenna said...

hang in there!! seriously, this is the hardest part. and i agree, please post pics of the meals (do they do vegetarian meals??)

Ali said...

It is hard the first couple of weeks! Hang in there, you will be surprised at how your stomach shrinks and even if you tried to eat as much as you used to, you can't anymore.

How many calories do you think you used to ingest?

Pregnant In Texas said...

Jenna - Yes, they do make all vegetarian meals.

Ali - I would be a genius if I knew that. My subconscious might know how many calories I consumed when I sat down on the couch and just started eating and never looked up. My conscious mind chooses to block it out. When I was on Weight Watchers, my point limit was 24, with 35 'anytime' points. It's hard to calculate how many actual calories that turned out to be.

Karrie - I'll try and take some pictures. I need to try out my new digital camera soon anyways.

Kind of Crunchy Mama said...

6 lbs is a great start! A few more and your clothes will feel looser. That will be a great motivator to continue.

In the meantime, is there anything low cal you can "binge" on like carrots and salsa or air popped popcorn. Something you can eat mindlessly till you feel full without sabotaging your diet.

Also try to find something you can do to treat yourself in a way that isn't food related. Maybe get a manicure, get a sitter and go shopping alone, see a movie, anything that will make you feel a little special.

And try to exercise. I never want to do it either. But once I do it, I always feel better after.