Mommybloggers tend to get a lot of flack for posting embarassing moments or milestones in their kids' lives. I had read about other women coming into a room to find their child vomitting on the family pet, smearing feces on the wall, or licking their boogers off with their tongue.
No matter how much I read about or even thought about the downright stomach-turning aspects of parenthood, I still wasn't ready for what happened last night.
I drove down to my parents' house around 7pm to pick up some of the items that where left over from Christmas. At 7:30pm, I put Zac in the bathtub and walked into the next room to get his pajamas. When I came back into the bathroom, I found him sitting in the shallow water surrounded by floating brown logs. He wasn't just idly sititng in his own poopy water, he was eating it. It was all over his mouth, up his nose, and on his hands when he realized that it didn't taste good. He was frantically reaching into his mouth to try and take the shit out, but couldn't quite figure out what was wrong.
I almost lost it.
I've seen dogs, horses, sheep, and rodents eat their own poop. I just wasn't ready to see my kid eat his. I'm sure my parents have a story about my sister or I redigesting our bowel movements. I'm sure that hundreds if not thousands of other parents have stories similar to mine. It's not that I think that Zac is too precious or even precocious to NOT eat his own poop, it's just feels like the image of seeing someone I love sporting a shitty brown mustache is burned into my retina.
It makes me wonder what else he's capable of. I suddenly feel like I've entered uncharted territory with my son. It's the land of no boundaries, no inhibitions, and no vomit reflex to digusting images. I wish I was that lucky.