Wednesday, October 25, 2006

10/25

So, it wasn't that I meant to write about how much I like reading blogs in the morning and then not write on my blog in the morning...it's just that....well, I didn't feel good. I woke up with a migraine and an intensely seriously need to vacate my bowels.

Let me back up. Remember when I said that Zac had ringworm - ON HIS BUTT?! Well, last Saturday, I started getting a ring-of-fire rash on my cheek. It itched and I scratched it. Until it itched some more and started oozing. Then I freaked out because, "OMG - I have ringworm ON MY FACE!" As Dee told me via e-mail, "I know your son's butt is cute and all, but you need to stop rubbing your face on your child's ass." Yuck. That's all I have to say to that. Well, that and: yuckyuckyuckyuckyuck.

So I went to the doctor to show her the said flesh-eating rash. Good news, it's not ringworm. Bad news - it is an allergic reaction to hair dye, which has been exascerbated by stress. My doc was actually all very concerned about my stress level. I've been having cramps in my lower abdomen area, which in all pratical purposes is my uterus. It feels like my uterus is cramping into a hard ball and then uncramping. Again and again.

The kind doc, that looked like she was maybe two years older than me, had me lay down and then proceeded to press on my various parts of my belly. Did it hurt under the ribcages? Nope, didn't hurt there. By my belly button? Nope, not there either. Right above my pubic bone? DING - DING - DING. That's the sweet spot that made me cry out in a discomforting, "Ugggggh...stop pushing there!"

I was given a cup and told to go pee in it.

That felt very, very familiar.

Good news - I'm not pregnant and I don't have a urinary tract infection.

Bad news - the source of my cramps might be digestive and she prescribed me laxatives that would make a large elephant crap himself for days. I spent the morning pooping and holding my head. Then pooping some more. If that doesn't make the pain away, I'm supposed to get an ex-ray (edited to note: apparently even my x-rays get their hearts broken and they become ex-rays. They, much like me, probably aren't having much sex either) and a very large bucket...

10 comments:

jenna said...

oh my lordy, -p would be so proud of you, posting all about your innards and such! that is most definitly NOT fit for show! but fit for blogging? hell yeah! :P

seriously, tho, good luck. i hope you don't have that mongolian worm thing you told us about that eats you up from the inside and then pops out your belly and kills you.
see? it could be worse.

Dee said...

That doesn't sound like any fun at all. Hope you get to feeling better soon! At least you don't have ringworm. :)

-P said...

I can barely type, I'm too overwhelmed with poo joy.

I hope you feel better! Look at it like a cut-rate colonic!

xoxoxox

Pregnant In Texas said...

P- You are so nasty...I LOVE IT!

I am enjoying the feeling of being a little "lighter". I took the laxatives again last night and I haven't pooped once yet. Apparently I got everything out yesterday!

Anonymous said...

I too eat my breakfast muffin with my diet coke and read blogs in the morning...what a thing to read...about your poo while I eat! LOL

Hope your feeling better girl (and Zac too)

~Dianne (a lurker)

wildflower said...

Isn't it amazing how much poop can lurk in our bowels? I have to confess I'm guilty of producing epic amounts of poop and then hopping on the bathroom scale to see how many pounds I've lost.

Anonymous said...

I hope you feel better! ~ Another lurker.

Caroline said...

Wow, reading this most makes me have to use the bathroom. Excuse me....

Caroline said...

p.s. most= post

doow said...

I do hope you're getting a lot of reading done while on the toilet? I have the need to multitask at all times ;-)