A joke from a Mom's Calendar on my desk at work:
"What a Northern Mom says:
If you can't say something nice about someone then don't say anything at all!"
"What a Southern Mom says:
Her hair is such a ratted mess, bless her heart"
You may have had to experience life in the South to fully appreciate this humor, but let me tell you, I laughed at loud. The joke reminded me of the time when I bought new strappy sandals for wearing to work. I showed them to my boss' boss, a fashionista in her own, Texas-way, who said so sweetly with a drawl, "Why NSP...those are very cute new shoes that you have there. Now all you need to do is get those toenails done and you will be fit for show"
Literally, the words, "fit for show" were thrown in my direction in response to my UNPAINTED toenails.
I love Texas.