11/2

So...a couple people have been asking about my (lack of) love life recently. I stopped writing about it right around the time that the crazy-ex started harassing me and R.(Blakken) and I stopped dating. That was about six weeks ago and the gala was back in early October, or roughly three-and-a-half weeks ago. I decided then to take a step back from dating.

Sure, I went on a couple of dates. I went on a date with a guy that talked about his Porsche so much that he even sent me a picture of the vehicle before our date (that should have been the first clue that the wasn't the one for me - and, no, I'm not joking, this is the actual picture)

but he was from South Africa and had the cutest accent so it was dinner, a ride in the said Porsche, and then back to my parents' house. That's it.

I also met a man that works at Tiffany's while getting his second master's degree. I had to go into the store to pick up some gifts for the gala so I asked if B. was working that day. It was my first time actually in the showroom, although I had checked out their stuff on-line while shopping for these gifts. B. was working and he took a break to show me around, introducing to me to e.v.e.r.y.o.n.e that worked there and showed me the really expensive jewelry that they don't usually let people touch. Ah...I touched it. It was good.

The kicker is that I'm allergic to metal, well, to nickel to be more specific. Certainly, as my face can testify, I'm also allergic to the chemicals in hair dye and sensitive to mosquito and fire ant bites. Needless to say, showing me a gallery full of gleaming metal and stones isn't really the way to my heart. I can appreciate their beauty, but can't really see myself incorporating it into my life. B. later asked me out to his company dinner.

Then I met, Mr. Tugboat. Mr. Tugboat works as a Merchant Marine, which actually isn't a part of the armed forces, although their union in regulated by the Coast Guard. As I understand it, he drives tugboats - and he really likes it. He used to drive the really big boats when he worked for deep sea companies, but it kept him away from his son too long (and we all know that I don't want to date another Deep Sea Diver/Driver again). He has a five year-old son that he shares custody of with this ex.

He and I went out on Friday night to, "A quiet place where we can talk," aka: Chili's, on his suggestion. We didn't want the evening to end, so dinner led to a movie, which lead to hanging out and seeing where he lived. I laughed and had a great time. Really, it was the best first date I've gone out on in such a long time. I had forgotten how much fun dating someone and getting to know them could be.

We left the next day to go and drive his tugboat for four days in the Houston/Galveston Channel and came back into town yesterday. We ordered pizza, played with Zac, and watched tv (well, I tried to watch tv, he was trying hard to distract me). It was great. Just so much fun that I have a stupid grin on my face this morning.

So much so, that I feel like I'm going to fuck it up. I can't really be into someone this much and he can't really like me as much as he seems to. I'm so scared of actually liking someone that I have to keep telling myself to be cautious, to wait until he earns my trust, to take one day at a time, which is what my Mom keeps telling me to do.

I'm trying. That's all I can say. I'm trying.