Tuesday, November 07, 2006


Election Day - the day were we all get to go out and participate in the legislative process of the government. Here in Texas, it might as well be called, "The Day We Scare the Crap Out of Every Living, Breathing American, Amen and Praise Jesus".

I've never lived somewhere that used such excessive scare tactics to persuade voters. The hot-button issue, of course, being immigration. I would have liked to have been in the room when the Republicans came up with the idea of building a fence between the border of Mexico and the United States. I imagine the conversation probably went something like:
White Guy A: "Even though the Southern economy would completely collapse without under-paid immigrant labor, we need to find a way to signal that we, as God-fearing Republicans, are TOUGH on illegal immigration."

White Guy B: "I showed my neighbor I was serious about kicking his dog's ass next time he crapped in my yard by building a fence. Then I got Charlton Heston to come over and personal autograph my 'Right to Bear Arms' poster in my driveway just to show that I MEAN BUSINESS"

White Guy A: "So what you're telling me is, you built a fence and then started patroling the fence with personal fire arms and small munitions? That's genius, but, wait, don't these guys already do that for us?

White Guy B: "Well, there are nearly as cool as the National Guard. Nothing says WE MEAN BUSINESS like getting armed service men and women involved to patrol our fence. Let's not forget, the Berlin Wall kept those dirty commies out for twenty eight years. I bet we could do better than that."

White Guy A: "*shuddering* Well, I'm not proposing building a wall. Just a fence. You can see through a fence, but you know what would be really great, is if we built not only one fence, but three fences! in a row!! Then maybe booby-trapped the area in between the fences and had some snipers on stand-by in the hills, just to take potshots at the folks trying to enter our country."

White Guy B: "Amen and Praise Jesus. The truth has been spoken and it is righteous. Now, I need to be gettin' goin'. I'm fixin' to buy some meth and have hire a male prostitute before dinner. "

That's just one of the issues that politicians in the Lone Star state like to get everyone riled up about. Let's not forget trying to scare people into believing that their PROPERTY TAXES WILL GO UP! or YOUR CHILDREN WILL BE EATING TAINTED MEAT AND E-COLI LADEN SPINACH IN THE SCHOOL CAFETERIA! if you don't vote.

Also, am I the only person that thinks it's weird that an organization dedicated to providing "non-partisan information for voters...so that votes can be based on issues rather than on personalities and popularity," only has issue stances for the incumbent, gubernatorial candidate, Rick Perry? That's weird, right?

Well, I'm not scared to rock the boat, even if the worst thing they can call him is a "gay-loving, anti-corruption, Washington liberal". Amen and Praise Jesus. Go out and vote.


jenna said...

oh. my. god. best election day blog entry EVER! i would steal it and copy it onto my blog, if i still was able to have one.
what about kinky?? i just heard an npr piece about him and i'm actually hooked!

Pregnant In Texas said...


Kinky lost me at Katrina.


Besides not having any prior experience, Texas already has enough problems without someone named "Kinky" running our state.

Anonymous said...

The other govenor candidates must not have returned the questionaire. They cover Democrats in other races, so I don't see that as a conspiracy.

Pregnant In Texas said...

Dear anonymous:

Here is what the organization says about how that organization covers "the issues":

"We get our information daily from newspapers, speeches, press releases, and the Internet -- it is a labor-intensive process that requires countless volunteer hours.

We rely on your support to keep this web site in operation.
Please help us with a donation."

No forms or questionnaires.

jenna said...

wow. how the hell could that "negro" comment NOT have been racist?? altho, i'm inclined to give him the katrina comment, tho i don't know anything about the context, seeing as how, as far as i know, the crime rate in houston has risen since katrina.
and anonymous - if you're gonna leave an opinion - leave your name! :)

Freudian Slip said...

I live in a pretty backwards town and I am very, very thankful that my vote was able to be done in private behind a curtain. They simply wouldn't understand :)