Friday, June 30, 2006


Clearly, my readers want me to move onto a more serious subject than potential violence against women (and thank you to the anonymous commenter that e-mailed me to explain the comment). So back to internet dating it is!!!

Now, some of the more sane folks out there might have stopped meeting people off the internet after a bad experience with a crazy, self-righteous man that blamed me for getting pregnant. Well, let me tell you, internet dating is not for the weak!! You must persevere if you intend to conquer and with all that preamble, you would think that I have at least one date lined up for this weekend. But: You. Would. Be. Wrong.

No dates. I've been talking to a funny (liberal!), kind, Daddy of two kids, and I promised him that I wouldn't talk about him on my blaaawg. What? (Why did I agree to do that? I can't write another post about baby shit. I just can't. I'm drawing the line in the, on the keyboard). He is helping his ex move with the kids to a new house all weekend. Awww....I can let good guys off the hook for not immediately having time to rush out for dinner and movie. At least for a while.

I also have a potential date sometime in August when a deep sea diver, J., comes back from pillaging the Gulf of Mexico (again - I couldn't make this up if I tried).

I'll leave you all with one good story about a date recently though...

Blind Date # 6: Tea and Avoidance

I had been talking on the phone to B., a 28 year-old security guard for a large university in Houston. In his spare time, he is a volunteer fire fighter for a rural town northwest of Houston.

I love uniforms. I don't love wearing them, but I love other people in them. He had a job with two uniforms!! Unfortunately, he also has two EX-WIFES. One ex-wife, definitely understandable. Two ex-wives, well, now you are getting into the phase that makes people wonder if you snore obscenely loud or consistently bounce your electricity checks because you spent all the family's money on cheap vodka and Russian hookers. Well, maybe not American men, but you get the picture.

We met up for tea and I realized that his pictures are really, really a bad representation of what he actually looks like. He is 6'3 and close to 280-300lbs. We all know that I'm not the skinniest, most secure individual, but dammit - I pride myself on being well-groomed. If not well-groomed, than at least not...well....yucky.

In addition to his clothes needed to be washed and in desperate need of a hair cut, his bad eye freaked me out. OK. I admit it. I just said that a person's disability kind of freaked me out. I just kept trying to remember which eye he said he couldn't see out of and then realizing that I was staring at his eyes trying to see the difference between the two of them to figure it out. Then I caught myself staring and avoided his gaze (and really, he was definitely gaaaazing dreamily in my direction over a cuppa Earl Grey).

This is why you have to have a tough skin to date strangers. Women like me will say things like: "It's not that he can't see out of one eye. That's not why I don't want to date him. It's that I wouldn't want to be in the same room with him for an extended period of time. It's hard work avoiding someone that is staring at you while trying to move into his (non-existent) peripheral vision so he can't see you anymore. Geesh. Somebody throw me a bone, here. We're going to be friends. I'm not a bad person. I promise..."


P said...

You're not a bad person!

I refused a second date with a guy because he said he was 5'7" and he was really shorter than I am, at 5'6" (I am 5'6" and a HALF!). I was enraged, because I was secretly congratulating myself for not being one of those girls who's hung up on height and won't go for anyone under 6'. And then he ruined it all by being shorter. Oh, we also didn't have much chemistry and he wasn't nearly as cute as his (5-year old) photos were so... omg. Maybe I'm a bad person too! Don't listen to me B!


dee said...

You're dating escapades are cracking me up! I tried the internet dating thing very briefly. After a couple of really bad dates I just couldn't do it anymore. Those guys that seem so nice and innocent online can turn out to be very creepy in person. Good luck to you! :)

solidereyes said...

I agree with both comments, haha, great dating escapades! And no, your not a bad person! Techinically he's the bad one because he LiED (could this be why he has two ex-wifes?) or stretched the truth a little too much about his appearance. I got tired of that picture game and invested in a webcam, and found a site that has video chatrooms (Webdate, is a good one). I'm not taking any chances on appearances, I have enough to worry about wondering if your married or not. Online dating is not for the weak!! I completely agree with you on that one, girl! Good luck with your dates this weekend ;D (Cuz I know you'll find one)

Christy said...

HAHAHAHAHAHA, I think thats really funny. I'm sorry that the dating world is really cruddy. From my past seems like the guys are REALLY good, all at once, you gotta pick JUST one to "date" (I've often picked the WRONG one), or the guys all are awful with 1 or 2 things that aren't really true mentioned about them on their profile. stinks. I'm sure when you aren't looking is when you'll find Mr. Right!

Anonymous said...

A deepsea diver, J ? Do tell. This should be interesting.