Thursday, May 18, 2006

5/18

Around the Not-so-Pregnant household, weight loss is more like weight, "I'll think about leaving your body when I'm good and ready, but don't think that you are permanently getting rid of me. I am not lost! I am waiting to be rediscovered." And I so much want to rediscover the satisfying feeling of mindless eating. There is really nothing I like more than opening up a full pantry, rummaging through the contents inside (minus ants, mind you, a feat that the pantry in my new apartment has yet to manage), and grabbing the first piece of fattening, salty goodness I find.

I hate being hungry. Hate it, hate it, hate it. It doesn't help that I work for an organization that is dedicated to eradicating hunger and food insecurity. Do you have any idea how hard it is to diet in a place that routinely uses the phrase, "helping feed the hungry."

How about you feed me? I'm hungry.

I've lost 3.7 pounds to date in five weeks. For the more mathematically challenged, that is less than a pound a week, a.k.a: the slowest weight loss in history. I might have lost a little bit more than that, but I couldn't go to my Weight Watchers meeting this week to be officially weighed. The main problem is that I can't really afford spending $12 a week to get weighed, when, really, they should be paying me for that kind of torture. Kind of makes me want to buy a scale and forgo the meeting part. But, we all know that my self-control isn't at peak performance level, which is how I got to this weight to begin with (that and the 9 pound baby). I neeeeeed to go to the meetings. I've become a Weight Watchers junkie.

Give me another hit of self-love! Someone tell me that I'm a success just because I put down the fudge brownie and made it to the meeting. Someone tell me that drinking more water will increase my energy and pave the way to healthy weight loss. Someone tell me that I need to love myself before I can expect my body to lose the weight. Anyone?

See, I told you it was a cult.

7 comments:

Melanie said...

We need to catch up soon! In the meanwhile, check out your quotes in this freshly published article: http://www.americanbaby.com/ab/story.jhtml?storyid=/templatedata/ab/story/data/1147808393102.xml

Pregnant In Texas said...

Wow...I had almost forgotten that I even had commented for you. It has been a while. We definately need to catch up soon. I wish that we weren't playing phone tag.

I love that the author says, "NSP found the Houston heat was causing her to sweat excessively." If there was ever a claim to fame, it should be that!

"Hi, my name is Not-so-Pregnant in Texas and I sweat a lot. Would you like to be my friend? Please??"

g-starr said...

on the self-love issue, it is important to remember that you're making such good progress in general by taking matters in hand, ie taking steps to change what you don't like. every day you do that is a little victory in itself!

i am terrible at doing things i know are sensible and healthy. but one thing that helps is my addiction to self-satisfaction. i just relish the smugness of actually making it to the gym.

that's the reason i go. i know it is good for me and i know it is an investment in health.

but really, the only thing that gets me there is the anticipation of how i'll feel when i leave.

p said...

Any organization dedicated to preserving a healthy lifestyle is a cult :) When I quit smoking, it was www.quitnet.com, where they have their own language--and e-mail server. Runners groups are compulsive 5k freaks who can spend hours talking about pronating and heart monitors. It's all about quieting that little voice in your head that goes "am I crazy?" every time you take a big step towards an intimidating goal :) So keep spouting those cliches! Drink the Kool-Aid! You'll love it.. eventually.

:)
you are inspiring
xo
-P

Ali said...

Hang in there! The weight didn't come on overnight, so you can't expect to lose it that way either. I know it is hard when it seems to be coming off so slow though, but you are at least down 3.7 from before! You are that much closer.

And yes, love yourself. No matter how much weight you lose, if you don't love yourself, it won't matter how much comes off. Sure, it gives you a boost of confidence, but that make you love yourself. From all I've read from you, you are a caring, helpful, unselfish, beautiful person that gave birth to the most handsome little guy!

Keep it up, I have no doubt you can do it!

Miss.Obscure said...

i have been feeling that way since i was 13 years old and i am 18 now. You said exactly how i been feeling for many years. Thank you for helping me realize i am not alone.

jenna said...

i know you know all this already, and first let me say that i do know exactly how you feel. i can't lose a damn pound! *me* - the girl who was underweight! can't lose a fricking pound. but enough about me...
yes, you get props for all those things - every little decision you make to not eat something "bad" and make a "good" choice instead, counts. and 3.7 pounds counts. and you have been working out a lot, have you considered the possibility you may be building muscle (which weights more than fat) at the same time as losing weight, therefore showing a lower net loss?
just keep it up, and remember - that beautiful body of yours brought LIFE into this world! love it!!! :)
love,
j