Thursday, April 20, 2006

4-20

I haven't gone A-WOL, I'm just tired. Tired of being tired. Tired of the stress. Tired of trying to do everything right and in the end doing nothing right. Tired of going to the g-d grocery store eight times in the past week because I've forgotten a light bulb four times, even though I had a list, which I forgot in the car. I'm tired of forgetting things.

Today, well today I dropped my son off at daycare without his diaper bag. He got a lukewarm yogurt, a bottle with some formula, and last night's pjs in case he pees on himself. That is what I dropped him off with this morning. That is what he gets to sustain him for the next ten hours (edited to reflect that while I may be a crappy mother with a huge guilt complex, I'm not CPS-worthy. The daycare facility is on a low-income, food program, which means that they provide baby food and formula.)

I got to work late, after stressing in the car. I will have to leave work late, at 6pm, and pray that I can get over to the really expensive-far away-but at least nice and safe daycare facility before they close at 6:30pm.

No amount of caffeine or blogging is going to make today much better.

1 comment:

Ali said...

It gets better, I swear! Something about pregnancy completely zaps your brain of any sort of memory and function. It takes some time after birth to getting it somewhat back. Either that or learning how to live with the lack of brain function.

As a single parent, it is even worse because it all falls on you. You have no one else to at least come from behind to make up for your mental loss.

Again though, you learn to deal and things get better. What it took for me was to be completely anal about things. Before you leave the house...Did I put the grocery list in my purse? Check. When you get in the car....Did I put the list in my purse? When you pull up to the store....Is the list in my purse? When you walk into the store.....Let me hold the list. Etc. I still slip and my daughter is 4 1/2, but I'm much much better. Sometimes I can even remember friends birthdays and think to call them on them. But that is only sometimes.