10-31

Can you guess what I'm doing now as I type? Well, I must have graduated from Mommy-In-Training school because I've figured out how to type and pump my breasts at the same time. That's right...I'm hooked up to the double-electric, pumping "moo machine". I've been trying to go to the gym in the mornings to see if I can work off one of my three chins, but, let's face it, I'm not really motivated to get up at the butt crack of dawn when Zac has kept me up most of the night.

This morning he woke up at 5am very, very hungry and demanding to be fed. I say demanding because when I had to stop and go to the bathroom (my only other option was to pee on my sheets, but I just washed those, so that was out) he screamed like you have never heard a child outside of Wal-Mart scream. I mean, ear shattering, "Where the hell did my food go? I was sucking on that boob!!" kind of scream. After that tantrum, I didn't want to move him once he got latched back on, and once my bladder was empty. So, he happly sucked on my left side until we both went back to sleep.

Beautiful, tender moment and all that. When I woke up to go to the gym I could tell that my right boob was hurting, but there is no way on Earth that I was going to wake up early and pump when my little tyrant is asleep. A) Pumping tends to wake him up and B) I have to be awake to do that, whereas I can breast feed in my sleep (who would have thought that was possible?) So, I went to the gym, worked out, got stuck in traffic on my way into work, and by the time I made it to my office, it felt like my right breast was going to explode. I had no idea that there could be a painful side of breast feeding. Nor did I ever realize that breasts weren't connected. There is no tube inside that pushes all the milk to the breast that the baby is on. It's not like when you lose a kidney and the other kidney takes over for the both of them. No, you have to cater to each boob individually. Whatever I thought about breastfeeding pre-baby, I was blissful in my ignorance.

For all those who are wondering, I finished pumping. Took a couple of calls (look at me multi-tasking! I can answer the phone! Stand on my head! and pump my breasts at the same time!!) and now I need to go back to what I was doing before I took this short break to pump out eight ounces.