Tuesday, June 28, 2005

6/28

Dear Peanut,

Life here on the outside world is great! We like it so much and I really think that you would like it a lot more out here. Out here there is me, Grandpa and Grandma, Aunt Jen, and a whole host of friends that are waiting to see your beautiful face. In fact, all of those people have taken to checking in with your Mommy periodically to see if you are still inside me (you are).

Mommy has also been doing some research on circumcision. People get very, very upset when you start talking about this subject, but I have to make the best decision for you that I can. I figure that at the very least, I should read more about it for your sake. Basically, baby, in some parts of the US circumcision rates are still around 80%. That means that if you were in the locker room with 10 boys, only 2 of them would have "turtleneck". Mommy appreciates the irony in that statement because she just saw your "turtle" in the last ultrasound (hee, hee).

Now, I know that you aren't thinking about this right now, and hopefully you won't until your 18 or so, but almost every straight woman that I've talked to likes the way that a circumcised penis looks. My research on the preferences of gay men is lacking, and I'm sorry about that. If you are ostracize in the gay community because of your penis, let me know. I'll start protesting at every pride parade and in every gay magazine that I can get my hands on. Or if some European or Canadian girl decides not to be with you because you don't have a foreskin, you just remind her that American girls like you just the way you are. And then give me the bitch's phone number....

So, you aren't going to remember what having a foreskin was like or even that someone removed it, but I'm going to promise you that I will be by your side and force them to give you enough anesthesia. When you are old enough to have kids, we'll talk about this again and I'll support whatever decision you make then. Medically or socially, the practice and attitudes towards circumcision might be different when you're ready to have kids. As for now, the scientific evidence is a little shaky, but your little turtle is going to be easier to clean and have less urinary tract infections.

Please come out soon. I love you,

Mommy

4 comments:

P is for Penis said...

B,
Once again, more posts on your unborn son's penis. I feel like a pervert :)

I just wanted to let you know - not to change your mind, but just in case you do and end up feeling bad about it - that this straight woman actually prefers uncircumsized turtles. There's more to play with, they have more personality, they're easier to ...er... um... your parents read this, don't they?

*blushes*

Also, of all the (um, many) uncircumsized turtles I've run across, I've never met an owner who had UTIs. Anyway, if you decide to keep the turtle's turtleneck, I just thought I'd let you know that at least some women will be absolutely delighted to see you did. Maybe 2 in 10 :)
xox
-P

Michelle said...

Hi I found your site through Jay's, I have to tell you I have enjoyed reading your blog. You have a great sense of humor and it sounds like you will be a great mama once your peanut decides to get here!

I agree with you on the penis choice... my son is without his turtleneck ;)

Congratulations and soon you'll be holding a baby in your arms! Amazing journey isn't it?! By the way, I saw your previous post on the size of the baby and just so you won't worry too much in my experience the u/s are normally off on the weight. Of course every now and again they get it right but most of the time (I've had probably 50 or so u/s) they have been wrong! Hopefully your little guy isn't 10 pounds! My biggest was 9lbs 5oz and that was a killer! :) Good luck and I'll be back to read more!

Pregnant in Texas said...

P,

As always, I appreciate your honesty. I'm laughing right now thinking about you liking uncircumsised turtles more than cicurcumsised ones. Is that why you always date international men? :)

No worries about my parents reading this....they, like everyone else, have a choice to NOT READ IT if the subject matter is offensive. Besides, I've been encouraged by other authors lately to be completely honest and remember, pretty soon my parents are going to see the inside of my vagina for the first time since I was potty trained. They can handle it!

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