Tuesday, March 29, 2005


I need a sponsor.

If there are some kind-hearted people out there that would like to sponsor my love of arts-and-crafts, cooking and cleaning (don't ask, I'm nesting), then please send me $19 a month to share in the joy and beauty of staying at home. Only $19 a month could be the difference between insanity and ultimate laziness. Your contribution could make a vital difference. That, and as my sponsor, I promise to send you a picture every month with a paragraph on my progress and a shot of my ever increasing belly.

You see? I've really enjoyed not working these past four days. I was purusing through Better Homes and Gardens yesterday and I realized that I would be an excellent housewife. I'm not a wife and I don't own a house, but let's not squash my dreams here, people. I was looking at the lovingly stenciled linen hand towels and exotic fruit sorbet and thought: "I would love to stay home and do that." I saw beautiful gardens and momentarily forgot that I can't bend over to my knees, let alone reach into the ground to plant foilage and perennials. Think of all the good I could do!! I could hand knit Christmas stockings for the children at Saint Jude's Hospital. I could hand stencil my cards for every season and even make up my own holidays. I could volunteer to walk all the dogs in my neighborhood and groom cats in my spare time. I could reach iconic status in my community and still watch Trading Spaces every day.

This is truly an amazing turn of events. I went to a liberal, all-women's college that didn't necessarily embrace women staying at home. I'm a hard-core leftist-liberal who at one point in my life, probably equated staying at home and not contributing to society equal to death (I was a melodramatic teenager). I couldn't understand why women would choose to not work until now. All joking aside, I'm not going to become a homemaker anytime soon, but it's been interesting for me to track the urges and impulses of my body as my not-so-little breech boy develops. Being on this side of the reproduction fence as changed my view of the societal landscape.

I once read a great article about a Smith alum that lived as a "lesbian homemaker". She said that she got to enjoy all the great parts of staying at home (like going grocery shopping at 11am and making her own rugs) while rejecting the patriarchial dynamics of a traditional male-female relationship because she lived with a woman. Interesting thought. I, however, don't even need to live with anyone. That is the beauty of being a single Mom-to-be. I just need sponsor. Anyone?


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