3/17

At the beginning of this post, I would like to say hi to Paul, who is struggling with job matters as well. Paul *raising my imaginary tom Cass in salute* if we keep our heads out of our assses we'll eventually find jobs. At least that is what I keep telling myself.

This morning I woke up with a case of severe second guessing. The interview went well yesterday, although they didn't ask me any questions, other than: "What are your experiences working with a diverse, low-income population?" Hmmmm.....anyone that has lived in a third-world country should get to be exempt from that question. The real question should have been: "Tell me about the time when your director tried to borrow $200 from you, even though $200 U.S. dollars is a small fortune in Mongolia. How did you handle that?" So, either the folks at the non-profit felt they already knew enough about me to offer me the job, or they knew enough that they didn't really care. Either way, they apparently knew enough. I'm taking lessons from "Sex in the City" now. My Dad and I watched it on Tuesday and we both agreed that more people should take the phrase, "Maybe he's just not that into you," to heart. Maybe the non-profit was just not that into me.

So, this morning I realize that I'm not sure I want to work 60 hours a week with no overtime or dental insurance. Part of the non-profit job would be to work for 8 hours and then teach classes at night, for another 3 hours. I realized that after my four weeks of maternity leave in July, my five-week old son would have to go more than 11 hours without sucking from the breast of life. That's a long time. Even if he wasn't breast feeding, 11 hours is a long time for any child to go without seeing a parent and this kid has only got one parent, me. Now, my Mom and Dad would love nothing more than three uninterrupted hours with their grandson after they pick him up from day care. I even realize that breast pumps were invented for situations like this, but is that what I want? Working is an economic reality for Peanut and I. Exploitation is not.

I have a couple of days to ruminate about this. I'm not supposed to hear back from the non-profit until Monday. Until then, I'm going to call back a couple of the banks that have contacted me and see where that goes. Job searching would be so much better if I could drink....