Thursday, September 21, 2006
Dear Huggies Manufacturers,
My name is Zac. I can't talk, type, or walk yet, so my Mom is writing this for me. Even though I may or may not be developmentally behind other bebes, I am exceptionally good at one thing: making a mess. I make the messes in our household and my Mom cleans them up. Most times, she does a good job. Some days are better than others, you know?
However, she recently purchased a jumbo pack of size 4 Huggies with an apparent defect. The tab on the right side won't adhere to the part of the diaper covering my jo-jo. No matter how hard she stretches, pushes down, or curses at it, the tab keeps springing back open, with disasterous consequences. A couple of days ago, the diaper opened in my sleep and got my ENTIRE crib wet. It was like she had put me to bed wearing nothing at all! I was as free as the day I was born, able to piss about as I pleased, but she didn't seem to like it very much.
Now, while I think this is lots of fun, I'm starting to feel bad for my Mom. I love making HUGE messes by pooping and peeing around the house. My Mom, doesn't really like it. It doesn't give her a fighting chance to keep the place clean in my wake. When she gets frustrated, she's prone to drastic action. By drastic, I mean duct tape. A lot of it.
Fortunately, I don't seem to mind.
I'm just happy that she let me play with her cell phone.
I was hoping that you could stop making such suckie diapers, at least for my Mom's sake. She has her faults, but last night she stayed up with me for two hours while I cried in pain from sharp molars trying to poke through my gums. I mean, really, with all of that going on, does she really have to deal with diapers that won't stay closed?
I didn't think so.
Bebe of Not-so-Pregnant-in-Texas, Zachary