The real August 1st...
Update on Blind Date #9: J2
He finally called me this morning at 9:30am to tell me that he was sorry he blew me off like that. It was nice that I got to ask him if was ok, which he was. Turned out that he fell asleep putting on his shoes. If he was that tired, he shouldn't have volunteered to come over.
We still haven't met. He thinks that I'm too interested in being a single-party girl. Ha! Double: Ha!HA! I laugh in that general direction. I was honest with him about going out with a couple of friends on Saturday and he completely lost it. I'm not exactly sure what he wants me to do, especially considering that WE'VE NEVER MET!!!
He thinks that I went looking for 'attention and affection' and he 'had hoped that I wouldn't be that needy'. Well - I'm not. I wasn't looking for anything other than a laugh and some companionship. I spend a lot of time alone. I work in front of a computer, alone. I live alone (Ok: with Zac I concede, but has anyone ever tried to carry on a conversation with someone that just wants to put your fingers in their mouth and hold them when they get tired? Maybe you shouldn't answer that. Come to think of it, I've had a couple relationships like that, but you get my point). Even when I'm in public, like dropping Z. off a the daycare or in the grocery store, I'm alone in my own head. I just exist in my own world.
I want someone to come in and play with me; in this world I create in my head. Right now, it feels like J. broke down my defenses and is now behind enemy lines, causing a ruckus.
Here is the embarassing part (there always is with me), I want to sit down with him over a cup of coffee. I want to see the man that has judged me so harshly that it made me cry at work. It's not fair what he did and I want him to know that.