Monday, May 15, 2006


It must be instinctual that little boys protect their privates. It kind of brings a new meaning to the word, "cup", no?

I just passed my first "official" Mother's Day on Sunday. Honestly, everywhere I went, people were making a H-U-G-E deal out of it. The daycare had a Mother's Day lunch, complete with sandwiches, fruit, and Mother's Day cards from other people's kids, if yours was too young to make you one (my little prodigy fits into that categoy. Protect his privates, check. Cut construction paper into a shape of a flower and then scrawl, "Happy Muthers Day", not so much.) On the radio, everyone kept talking about Mother's Day and then my Mom and I kept talking about it. Really, I thought that I would feel differently about the day now that I am a mother, but I don't. It's still a made-up holiday (granted, one that is celebrated around the world at different times) and I still am wary of setting aside one day to celebrate the other 364 days in a year that a Mom cleans a dirty, smelly, poopy butt. Being vomitted on this morning only hammered it home.

I'm also having a bit can I put this delicately....nope, I can't: breeder's guilt. I've been reading A Little Pregnant's blog. She went through years of heartbreak during her struggle with infertilty and IVF. The only difference between her story and thousands of other women is that her story ends well: she has a son and she is now trying for a second child. I thought about this last night as I finished my first month on seasonale . I have two months to go before I get a period and it is just a little weird, especially now that I'm single again. Don't get me wrong, one of the best side effects of pregnancy and breast feeding was the lack of periods, but it is just hard to imagine that I have to try so hard to NOT get pregnant (the pill and condoms - two is preferable, but one will suffice) whereas other women try so hard to GET pregnant. It doesn't seem fair.

If I could take out my uterus and loan it to women who could make better use out of it, I would.

1 comment:

wildflower said...

OK, I can't get over how cute Z is.
I have no insight on the unfairness of the universe, except to say that I just had lunch with a cousin who has 4 kids that she doesn't have custody of and never sees. Meanwhile, another of my cousins is married and trying desperately to adopt after years of fertilty treatment with no success. It isn't fair.