1/05

For M, stories from the Northeast:

It's hard to sum up my entire trip to the Northeast. It was my first trip with Zac, alone, so there were some extra challenges, but also extra small joys and triumphs. Here is what I learned over my winter vacation:

• I can read a magazine in airport for at least 20-30 minutes as long as I give Zac another magazine to chew on. He can happily chew while I read the 2005 Worst Dressed list.

• The Chili's restaurant in the Detroit airport won't let you bring strollers in, no matter how hard you fight. I tried to tell them that if they were handicapped accessible, then they could accomodate a stroller. The woman kept repeating: "Do you see the sign? The sign says no strollers," to which I said: "Well, the sign is stupid." Not my most brilliant comeback, but it's hard to be brilliant while your son is chewing on a stuffed monkey and the front, left wheel of your stroller isn't touching the ground.

• Zac looks adorable in a snow suit, even though he hates wearing one.

• My sister and brother-in-law are fantastic at watching Zac. I left to go out on New Year's Eve and instead of worrying about Zac, I worried about Jen and K. being alright with him.

• I don't have romantic feelings for the FOB, much to my surprise and delight.

• I do want to rip off his head and shove it down his deadbeat ass, much to my surprise and delight. I actually don't like to be angry for extended periods of time and the anger I feel towards him was more shocking in its intensity.

• It's a lot of fun to say "No". Really, I think I should do it more often. For example, when the FOB asked if I could get him a bottle for Z: "No. Get it yourself and juggle the squirming baby while you are at it and think about all the times that I had to do it after recovering from my C-section while you were out drinking and having sex."

• Snow, be it wet and heavy or freezing rain, is cold, especially when you've lived in Texas for the past year.

• It is almost impossible to push a stroller on a sidewalk that hasn't been plowed or salted. I tried in Northampton. Their efforts to be an eco-friendly campus causes me to swear profusely.

• Mixing beer and champagne, even at midnight on New Year's Eve, the night that you think you can do anything, will make me throw up during a cab ride. It's even worse when you arrive at your destination and realize, not only do you not know where you are, but that owners of the house don't know you. All night, as I slept on a circa 1970s sky blue couch, I heard: "And we don't even know who this girl is!". Yes, I was that drunk woman that passes out in a comfortable spot, only to have the party move into the room where she lies, sleeping and unknown.

• Having friends and family around me, only emphasized how much I miss having a partner, but I love to see Zac smile and stick his tongue out and everyone that I love and who love him in return.